A few more questions from a test from 2004. I know you’re doing great, so far.
1. “I don’t have the vaguest pretension to journalist ethics.”
A. Rush Limbaugh, when confronted with his average number of lies and half truths per sentence.
B. Bill O’Reilly, explaining his job at FOX NEWS
C. Dan Rather, explaining his job at CBS
D. Dennis Miller, explaining why CNBC would hire a untalented weasel comedian for their news department.
2. “Although it’s disputable, I don’t think being aligned with the party that’s running everything is a bad thing …”
A. Prescott Bush, the moron’s grandfather, on his illegal dealings with Nazi corporations during WW II.
B. Rush Limbaugh, explaining why he never has anything good to say about anything progressive or liberal.
C. Judith Miller, so-called “reporter” for the New York Times.
D. Paul Rittenberg, FOX NEWS VP.
3. “The president himself … never specifically said that Saddam Hussein was an imminent threat.”
A. Condoleeza Rice, practicing her version of Clinton’s “define the word ‘is‘”.
B. George Bush, forgetting that he was really only the appointed president.
C. David Asman, anchor for FOX NEWS’ The Big Story.
D. George H. W. Bush forgetting that his son had only been appointed president.
4. “All of us have made mistakes in our lives.”
A. George H. W. Bush, personally apologizing for his son’s existence.
B. Rush Limbaugh, explaining why he still thinks everyone else, except himself, should be shot for using illegal drugs.
C. Cleveland Indians minor league pitcher Kazuhito Tadano explaining his appearance in a gay video three years ago.
D. Colin Powell, apologizing for soiling his career by being a member of the moron’s band of thugs.
5. “For this creative hard work I bless you from my heart.”
A. George Bush, thanking his cabinet for the many lies that they invented so that he could invade Iraq because “Saddam tried to kill my daddy.”
B. British prime Minister Tony Blair, thanking the Bush cabinet for the lies needed to escape responsibility for the dead British soldiers in Iraq.
C. Frank Bottom, to the “taggers” who deface public property and, as LA’s only Graffiti Abatement Officer, will not lose his job under the city’s new budget.
D. Pope John Paul II after a performance of break dancers.
6. “Everybody is busy and has stuff to do, but we should all take our time to do what we need to do to make the process work.”
A. George Bush, trying to explain why he will only appear at the 9/11 investigation with his puppet master Dick Cheney.
B. Timothy McVeigh, on why he feels no remorse for the Oklahoma City bombing.
C. Amhad Dubai, suicide bomber in Tel Aviv, in a note left for his parents.
D. New Hampshire Gov. Craig Benson on being called to serve on a jury.
7 “I felt I would be fired if I didn’t lie.”
A. Colin Powell, in an interview with the Iraqi press.
B. Ex-Secretary of the Treasury Paul O’Neill, , on why he resigned rather than try to justify the three tax cuts for the wealthy.
C. Douglas Faneuil, prosecution’s star witness in the Martha Stewart stock trading trial.
D. George Bush, explaining his misunderestimation of the responsibilities of being appointed president.
8. “I don’t know. It may stink in the eye of the smelling beholder.”
A. Karl Rove, discussing VP Dick Cheney’s continuing statements that WMDs will be found in Iraq.
B. George Bush, on the flimsy “choked on a pretzel” excuse for having been drunk and falling down into a coffee table while watching TV.
C. Jim Garvin, NASA scientist discussing Mar’s sulfuric odor.
D. Mel Gibson, discussing his latest film.
9. “With a healthy dose of fear and violence, and a lot of money for projects, I think we can convince these people that we’re here to help them.”
A. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on new policies funding the various housing projects in New York City.
B. Karl Rove, on how to contain the anger from the lower- and middle-class regarding the massive tax cuts for the wealthy and cuts in social program spending.
C. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, explaining how he will convince Californians to accept his cuts to education, health care, and other programs.
D. Lt. Col. Nathan Sassaman, explaining his attitude towards the people in the village of Abu Hishma, Iraq.
10. “I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
A. CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, exposing just how stupid he really is.
B. George Bush, exposing just how stupid he really is.
C. Pat Robertson, TV’s pretend Christian evangelist, exposing just how stupid he really is.
D. Geraldo Rivera, exposing just how stupid he really is.
Alright then. How many did you get right? Don’t be too hard on your self, especially on question #10. Any answer would probably be correct in the long run.